Social Etiquette- a lost art?

I've been meaning to touch upon the subject of social etiquette for a while but have always been side tracked or left wondering if it's at all worth giving my two pennies on a subject that sometimes leaves me slightly speechless..


Social etiquette is supposedly a set of behaviours based on societal norms, (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etiquette). These behaviours would include things like communication, manners, social interaction and dress. In this day and age many of these norms have become almost global or at least for those with access to a global audience. These would typically manifest themselves in a work environment with a cross cultural and societal workforce. For example, one wouldn't think twice about shaking a woman's hand in England, but would the same apply to Saudi Arabia?


Part of social etiquette is at least the ability to recognise that there can be differences in societal norms depending on what part of the world you're from..social etiquette can also adapt to smaller groups such as the ability to know how to socially interact with peers as opposed to those who may have a more senior position in your circle of acquaintances...without even recognising the possibility of these differences and their impact on your behaviour, social etiquette, in my opinion, goes out of the window.


The reason for me writing about this..well I don't know if it's just me but I keep coming across what I see as lack of social etiquette and basic manners. Don't get me wrong, I'm no Ms prim and proper but what I do acknowledge is the difference in my behaviour, my speech, my tone, and sometimes my dress depending on where I am and who I'm talking to. Is it too much to ask therefore to expect the same from others? I'm not saying that people should be chameleons, changing their 'colours' at the drop of a hat..what I'm saying is that people should have enough sense to know what is appropriate behaviour and what isn't.


A personal example of this is a comment made recently by an 'auntyji', a long time acquaintance of my mother who felt the need to tell me that I'd put on a lot of weight since she last saw me 6 years ago. Bearing in mind this was 2 weeks after I had given birth to my son, I thought this was a slightly misplaced comment and regardless of when it was said, quite rude. What made this comment worse was that she said it within 5 minutes of coming into the room and in front of a bunch of people. You're probably thinking she was some uneducated woman with little care for such mundane matters as etiquette..hmmm..well you need to meet this woman's daughter in law who a few years back tried to impress me by telling me all about her French classes at the French institute and how hard it all was..that was until I told her I had studied French at university and had lived in Paris for a year...Wooomffffff...I practically saw her deflate in front of me...Nope this auntyji had no idea about what was appropriate in conversation and probably thought she was doing me a favour by telling me about my weight..duh lady I think I've noticed!


The reason I'm writing this post is to remind people that to make conversation and to behave appropriately is an art. It isn't taught in schools or universities so it doesn't mean a bachelors degree will somehow automatically teach you social etiquette. Nor does money buy you manners. It comes with a certain humility, a level of interaction with people and observation. So the next time you feel the need to comment on someone's weight, height, looks, dress etc etc don't feel like you have to hold back but at least try and figure out a way in which you don't sound like rude oaf!